Saturday, January 31, 2009


A few weeks ago or maybe a month or so ago, I blogged about a situation that happened regarding my at home babysitting job. Like most people do, I was venting in the middle of a situation as it unfolded, except I was venting on MY blog.

Well, on Jan.29th, some ANONYMOUS person decided to visit my blog and leave a comment on just that particular blog post. (I have since deleted the comment.) Of ALL of the positive blog posts on my site, someone picks that post to comment on. Strange. My first thought was that one of the "friends" that I referenced in that blog post had somehow found my blog and that it was one of them who left the comment. Now, I don't really think that is true because I've seen them since the 29th and they acted just fine towards me. So, apparently the comment was left by some random, hate filled stranger. A stranger who knows NOTHING about me, my life, my past, my struggles, my values, my, friends or my faith. I will pray that God touches this person's heart and that this person will make a decision to start treating people with love and kindness, rather than with hate and meanness.

The comment was judgemental, scathing and demeaning...not nice at all. As most of you know, talking about my feelings is something that I am really not too good at and I am trying really hard to open up and not stick my head in the sand any more. Needless to say, that comment left me very upset. It made me question everything I know to be true about myself and I'm just not up for that. Mind games are something that I detest.

It is hard enough for me to open up about my feelings, much less worry about some stranger attacking me for them. That is why I have decided to change my blog to "private." My blog is MY safe place to talk about my life, my family, my issues, my struggles and my successes. I thought about just deleting my blog all together, but that would be counter productive for myself. I have some really GREAT friends in the blog world and I refuse to give some stranger that much power.

Oh, and about the previous blog post and my babysitting job ending... it seems that as always, God knew just what he was doing. He is amazing ... I really can see His hand in so many areas of my life.

I "coincidentally" ran into a high school friend on Facebook who was looking to hire someone for part time office work at the company where he is General Manager. Yep, you guessed it... he hired ME. I now work part time, 9-1, each day. It's 20 hours a week and I am making close to the same as I was babysitting. The job does have the potential to grow into more hours as well. It is also about 5 minutes from my house. Can you say PERFECT???! :-)

And, the relationship with my friends seems to be somewhat patched up. It was very awkward at first, and Mary didn't come around us for a long time. Her husband said it was becuase she didn't know what to say so she was just avoiding it all together. I know her pretty well, and that is exactly how she handles difficult things that she is faced with in life. Looking back, it's easier to not be angry about the whole thing. None of us are perfect and we all make mistakes and sometimes do what we feel like we have to do. So, thankfully, our friendship seems to be on the mend. Will it ever get back to where it was? I'm not sure, but I think I would like for it to. They have been really good friends of all of ours for a long time.

So, there you have it... welcome to my "private blog!" LOL


Michelle said...

So sorry that happened to you. My cousin's wife had a similar incident happen to her recently on her blog and did the same thing, made hers private. I too, hope that person can find it to be kinder to others and not pull petty games like that. It's frustrating because this is a place you feel safe to express your thoughts, fears, etc. I know you felt violated in a sense.

Congratulations on your job. I know you're excited about it. How convenient for you that it's so close to your house. I hope you can get more hours and continue to like it. God opened that door for you for sure.

I hope your friendship with that person can continue to mend. Those are awkward situations and sometimes they just take time to heal.

I know it's not easy for you to open up and never has been. I'm just glad you feel you can talk to all of us and know we're going to support you in good and bad times.

I'm blessed to have you back in my life as a friend. You never left as far as I'm concerned.

Dawn said...

Sorry someone did that. Some people can be so hateful. Yay for the new job!

HerstoryGirl said...

Hey girl, don't EVER let some hateful comment by some anonymous stranger make you question yourself.
If there's one thing I've learned, it's: "Hurting people hurt people." Whoever left that comment (I didn't see it so I'm not sure what it said) was obviously coming from a bad place themself. You are an amazing woman of God and I feel SO BLESSED to call you my friend! {{{HUG}}}